I greet all the distinguished guests present at the United Nations. I'm a little nervous, I have never ever stood in...
Excuse me, you, please, no stand, sit. Please, I do my talking from my mouth, you talking $%X&, word not coming, please, request, please.
Laugh, laugh, laugh! People laughing village that time, so I make invention, my pad machine. You lauging this time, I make new invention, my English, Lakshmi English, Lnglish. No school, no study, no spelling, no grammar, but you understanding full. English, only taxi, taking my feeling to you. OK? Ready? Meter down!
Who is first moon man? Neil Armstrong. Who is first Everest man? Tenzing. Who is first pad man? Lakshmikant Chauhan. Short, Lakshmi. Why? Lakshmi means money. But this Lakshmi today, UN stage, you clapping, why? This Lakshmi not chasing Lakshmi. If Lakshmi also running to money, make Lakshmi money man, not pad man.
All chaing money, big house, bigger house, bigger bigger bigger house, foolish! Your White House, biggest house, why? WHY? No thinking, just living living living. Thinking having money means all problem going. Everybody praying God, please, please, please Father, give me no problem, no problem. You want no problem? Die! After die, no problem.Simple!
No problem means you not living, problem coming, chance for living, This Lakshmi lucky, India, full of problem country. Lane Lane problem, left problem, right problem, up problem, down problem, everywhere problem problem problem. Problem means Moka, moka meaning some opportunity, that only make India full opportunity. Lakshmi find problem in five day women chums. Some people what they calling chums you know? Test match. Five-day cricket test macth, you know? For saving knee from hard ball in cricket, man wearing two pad, one one leg. Calling woman problem test match but no woman, no pad. Woman using dirty cloth, much more danger than ball hitting leg in cricket. I seen my wife also doing same. My pad story, also sad story. Everybody calling Lakshmi mad, but lakshmi thinking, pad, only pad. Small boy helping Lakshmi, children, best, simple, no too much thinking. I also same, no too much thinking. My mind, white paper. no black fear, only white paper. Big company having money for doing R&D, research and development. I poor, I doing T&F, try fail, try fail, try fail. Best fail, Lakshmi fail, Lakshmi learn. Calendar changing changing changing, slow slow Lakshmi make big machine small. This machine very easy, simple, very simple. I not study IID, but IID study me. They giving me award. And I make first pad, this pad I give to fairy, fairy lady. Please big hand for fairy. Fairy make Lakshmi fly.
Today I change name from, let me talk like American, I change my name from Lakshmikant to "LakshmiCAN". This pad, I made, two rupees. Only two rupees, you know? Giving woman two month extra life. Yes, see? You know how? I will explain. Five day every month, woman sitting outside house, doing nothing. 5 into 12 equal to 60, one year, 60 days, two months, waste. Woman wearing pad meaning two month life extra. Why for man 12 months a year, but woman only ten months? Why? Bloody Man! Half an hour man bleeding like woman, they straight die. I believe in big man, strong man, not making country strong, woman strong, mother strong, sister strong, then, country strong.
Today pad machine making woman strong. Full life having pad, full life having business also. You know why? Other business going up and down, up and down,up and down, but this business only up. Why tell? This no joke, no laugh, I serious. Till woman having chums, pad selling. One woman stop, new woman start, natrure business, no down, only up.
You thinking I'm mad, no problem. That time also, all thinking, Lakshmi mad. Mad only becoming famous. Today famous, but Lakshmi, same. Lakshmi no money, little, only, little. Money making one man smiling, good doing, many women smiling.
I have, for my country, have to do lot. India today, only 18% women using pad. I want to make India 100%, 100% pad country. I want, I want, I want, I want 1 million more women having job, pad business. I want! I will! you wait, you watch! I come back to United Nation, and you are listening my Lnglish again. How you like my Lngligh?
You want to learn? You come India. Two rupees, I teach. Good night! Thank you!
(Airport Farewell to Pari)
Lakshmi make pad machine, but Pari make Lakshmi.
Your name not only Lakshmi pad name, your name, Lakshmi heart name.
Bye bye. Thank you.
For Lakshmi, you first, you second, you third, you four, you five, you six, you seven, you eight, you nine, you ten, you eleven...
